hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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