Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Randomize
