You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
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