No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Randomize
