Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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