I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I'm gonna fight the coyote
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
