no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
