Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Randomize
