My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
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