I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
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