You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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