i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
Randomize
