I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
vagina is talking i cant
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize
