I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Houston, we have a squirter
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
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