goodnight i made you a song goodbye
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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