I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
