I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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