First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
His nipple licking is glorious
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
