I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
Randomize
