u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Randomize
