I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
