I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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