dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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