if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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