i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Randomize
