so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Randomize
