His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
