Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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