perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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