Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Randomize
