Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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