eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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