I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
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In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
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i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
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