Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
