I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
