It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
That was before I lit my hair on fire
Randomize
