no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
only you would photoshop your dick
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Randomize
