I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
my liver is dry heaving
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Randomize
