Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
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