I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
