is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
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