Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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