Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
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