The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Randomize
