Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
