So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Randomize
