you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
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