yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Randomize
