Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
