she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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