also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Randomize
