We're facebook friends in real life
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Randomize
