If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
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I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
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