Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
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