So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
Randomize
