I don't think brook has ever known best
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
