Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
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You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
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Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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