I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
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