we have officially lost it.
I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Im part way to drunk.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
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