Hey man sorry I got all grabby
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
