Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Randomize
