Nicole vs. Life
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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