I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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