I want to walk on stilts...naked
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Randomize
