He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
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