how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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